What About The Speech?
How to get laughs, tears, and thunderous applause
6 tips for a memorable bride’s wedding speech
Reading Time: 5 Minutes
What we’ll cover:
• How long should the bride’s speech be?
• What to say in your wedding speech
• Questions to ask when writing your wedding speech
• The perfect end to your bridal speech
When it comes to preparing for your big day, the speech can often be one of the most difficult. It’s easy to forget about it, or to panic and overthink it. So here are 6 tips to help you write a knockout bridal speech – without the stress!
1. Keep it Short.
I know the wedding is your big day. Nobody wants to take that away from you – but the speech is given to everyone there, and nobody wants to hear speech after speech that drags on.
So how long should your wedding speech be? 3-5 minutes – and 5 minutes is the max. after all, the groom, the best man, and the maid of honour are usually speaking too – and sometimes the parents. If you all spoke 5 minutes, that’s over 20 minutes of speaking time, and nobody wants that.
Trust me.
N.B. when working out how long your speech is, work with an average of 120-130 words a minute. So a 3 minute speech is 360-390 words, and a 5 minute speech is 600-650 words.
2. Always prepare
The worst thing you can do is wing it. You’ll be flustered, rambling, and you won’t sit down feeling like you’ve actually said what you wanted.
I was at a wedding recently where the father of the bride hadn’t prepared… and it was obvious. He spoke for over 10 minutes, and his ‘speech’ consisted largely of him telling stories about himself, with disconnected thanks to his wife and daughter. In attempt to thank his wife for raising his daughter while he was away for work, he ended up describing his daughter’s childhood sicknesses in far more detail than anyone eating wanted.
It wasn’t fun.
So prepare beforehand. And if you’re wondering how, the next 2 tips should help.
3. Have ONE thing to say
Every good speech has one single message. A clear message that people can remember, that everything else is oriented around.
So ask yourself:
What’s the one thing you want to say to the audience and/or your partner?
Your answer to this question will normally suggest the overall structure of your speech.
For example, if you decide that the one thing you want to say is that love is a journey in which two people build a road together, a natural way to structure it might be to start with the question ‘what is love?’
From there you could suggest a few answers (with a funny story on the way), and then lead into a story about your relationship, which gives you the answer to your question.
Of course, there are other ways – the point is, start with the one thing, then let that guide you.
4. Don’t forget to say thank you
Somewhere in your speech you need to say thanks. Some people like to do them at the start, but, unless they’re very long (which hey shouldn’t be), I like to put them at the end, just before the toast (see below).
Who do you thank in your wedding speech? here’s a simple list:
- Your parents (if you have a good relationship)
- Anyone who has done something special for the wedding
- The bridesmaids
- The maid of honour
- Everyone for coming
This is just a guide, of course it’s up to you. But this should at least get you thinking.
5. Tell a story
People love stories – and they remember them too. The story can be about you and your partner, or it can be a story from a book or film or anything else that helps you to say the ONE thing you want to say.
A word of warning though: learn from the father of the bride above, and keep your stories brief and on point.
6. End with a toast
A good wedding speech ends with a toast.
Here are a few points to help you make a good toast:
1. Give your thanks and maybe repeat the one thing you wanted to say in your speech
2. Raise your glass to the whole room before turning to the newlyweds– this will make sure everyone joins in
3. End with a toast, or a quote – such as G. K. Chesterton’s statement that marriage is ‘an alliance against the world.’
Make sure you make it clear that the toast is beginning. Say something like ‘Please join me in toasting…’ or ‘Please join me in raising your glass to…’
And don’t forget to speak with energy and sincerity. If you sound timid or nervous, your toast will be weak!
There you have it! 6 tips to help you write a memorable, painless wedding speech! and if you’re particularly proud of it, send it my way – I’d love to do an analysis of it on my site!
About the author: Alexander Westenberg, milestone speechwriter, is a teacher, a musician, and long-time speechwriter. Read more…
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Inside you’ll find learn:
- Why the wedding speech matters
- The 3 most common hooks for your speech
- The time-tested 'Rule of One' that can make the difference between a speech that makes an impact... and a speech that doesn't
- 4 steps to finishing your speech with the perfect wedding toast
- ...and more!