How to end your wedding vows

Reading Time: 3 Minutes

What we’ll cover:

• How should wedding vows end?

• How long should wedding vows be?

Traditionally, wedding vows were pretty much set in stone – tradition ruled, and couples just went along with it. But these days, things are different, and writing your own wedding vows has become more popular as a romantic alternative to make your special day a more personal, unique experience.

Sounds great, right? Except…

…actually writing them can be tricky (I get it – that’s why I offer custom wedding vow writing !).

• What do I say?

• How do I start?

• Is there a formula?

• How do I end?

These questions can be overwhelming. But not to worry – I’m here to help.

I go into more detail about the rest of writing wedding vows in other articles, but for now, let’s look at how to end your wedding vows to make the most impact.

How should wedding vows end?

The normal way to end your wedding vows is to have a simple closing promise. Remember it’s meant to be a set of vows, after all – so the perfect ending is a promise that sums up everything you’ve said before. You can say ‘I promise’, or you can go the more traditional ‘I vow’ –it’s up to you. Another option I’m seeing a lot more these days is “This is my promise to you: to…”

The exact format isn’t so important, just as long as it feels natural and matches the style of the rest of the vows – you don’t want to go from super casual vows to a super formal ending!

What to include in the promise?

Good question. Although there is flexibility, remember these are vows for your wedding – so it’d probably be a good idea to include a promise about love and listening, care and concern, companionship, to work together, and so on.

Here are two examples you can use as inspiration or take word for word:

• I vow to love you, to care for you, to trust you, to confide in you, from this day until my last.

• I promise to respect you and care for you as a persona and as a partner. Above all I promise to love you, and to stand with you in an unbreakable alliance, you and me against the world.

N.B. As a rule, keep the promise to under 50 words, MAX. The reason is because if the promise loses it’s power. People can’t keep track of it all – and it runs the risk of being as long as the rest of the vows. So keep it short.

This naturally raises the question of how long the actual wedding vows as a whole should be – let’s consider that now.

How long should wedding vows be?

As a general rule, the vows shouldn’t be another wedding speech. That means 2 minutes or under is ideal – and an absolute maximum of 3 minutes.

Remember that there will be two different vows, o however long your vows are, people are going to have to stand through double that. so again, no longer than 2 minutes is a good rule of thumb.

In case you’re wondering, that’s about 250-300 words, depending on how fast you speak.

Pro tip? Practise it out loud to know the time.

What if you have more to say than you can fit into 2 minutes? Should you just keep writing?

You can do that – after all, they’re your vows. But my recommendation is not to go over the 2 minute mark, and keep the rest for your wedding speech!

So there you have it – a simple and powerful way to finish your wedding vows! If you’re struggling or you’re not sure what to do, I offer custom wedding vow writing, and wedding vow editing – reach out, I’d love to help you find the perfect words… and make an impact!

About the author: Alexander Westenberg, milestone speechwriter, is a teacher, a musician, and long-time speechwriter. Read more…

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Inside you’ll find learn:

Why the wedding speech matters
The 3 most common hooks for your speech
The time-tested 'Rule of One' that can make the difference between a speech that makes an impact... and a speech that doesn't
4 steps to finishing your speech with the perfect wedding toast
...and more!