What About The Speech?
How to get laughs, tears, and thunderous applause
How to start a wedding speech
Reading Time: 5 Minutes
What we’ll cover:
• Why the opening of your wedding speech matters
• How to give a strong opening
• 9 Opening line examples
• Tips for delivering a strong opening
NB: This article is about how to write the opening to your wedding speech., If you’re looking for how to get started writing the speech as a whole, check out my article on How to write a good wedding speech.
Every good wedding speech has three parts:
1. A beginning – so your speech opens with a bang
2. A middle: where you give your main message
3. An end – where you ‘finish with a flourish’
And if you think your main message is the most important bit, you’d be wrong. Sorry. The truth is, the two strongest parts of any wedding speech are its start and its end.
Why?
Because, as a rule, people always remember the first and last thing you say more than anything in the middle. So if you want to craft a strong wedding speech, you have to pay attention to the ‘book ends’ of your message.
But before we talk about how to do this, let’s look a little more closely at why the start is SO important.
Why the opening of your wedding speech matters
I’m going to be harsh. You only have 7 seconds to capture your audience. Yes, they’ll listen for a little while longer, but the first 7 seconds matter. After that you have about 30 seconds to a minute to convince them your speech is worth paying attention to. And if you fail?
They switch off. You lose them – and all your beautiful thoughts get ignored.
This doesn’t just apply to the words of your speech by the way. It also applies to how you present yourself.
If you’re boring or stuttering, people get restless. And restless people don’t pay attention. They’re too busy waiting for the end.
So take time over the start of your speech. let’s look at how to do that, shall we?
How to give a strong opening
First let’s get the basics out of the way: you can start the speech however you want. There’s no rule. But there IS a rule about what your opening should do.
The start of your wedding speech is designed capture your audience’s attention. So to do this you need to remember the following rule:
A good beginning is always short and punchy.
Break this rule at your own peril.
We’ve all sat through those speeches or presentations where the speaker gets up and starts fumbling over introducing themselves, thanking a million people, and doing everything except actually starting the speech. by the time they do, we’ve lost interest.
Don’t do that.
So how can you capture attention while keeping the opening short and punchy? Here are 4 standard ways to do this:
1. Start with a joke
Making people laugh is a great way to get their attention, help them relax, and make them think you’re interesting.
2. Start with a quote
Giving a quote also holds attention, because people want to hear the whole quote, and see how you use it.
3. Start with a story
Humans love stories. If you jump straight into an interesting story, you’ll have everyone on the edge of their seats – and that means you’ve made a good opening.
4. Ask a question
We can’t help but pay attention to questions. We either need to answer them ourselves, or we need to wait and hear the answer. This means that asking a question can be a great way to get attention fast – it can also tie in nicely with a story, a quote, or even a joke.
Let’s look at a few examples!
9 Opening line examples
- “Has anyone lost $170 cash in a rubber band? ‘cos I’ve found the rubber band.” This can be a fun opening if you pull it off with confidence – start strong as if it’s a real problem, then hold out the rubber band, and you’ll have people laughing.
- “Fornication. Sorry, let me try that again. For a occasion like this…”
- “ladies and gentleman, I’m so excited to be speaking, I can’t wait to hear what I have to say!”
- “Families and friends – I’d call you ‘ladies and gentleman’, but I know too much about you”
- “Hi everybody. Thank you for the warm welcome. Mark Twain once said that 'there are only two types of speakers in the world. 1. The nervous and 2. Liars.' I'm definitely in the former category, so I hope you'll forgive me if I'm a little bit shaky this evening.”
- “Hi everyone, I'm NAME, and before any of you ask, yes I am single.’
- “Ladies and Gentlemen. If you don't know who I am... well, you're probably at the wrong wedding! But stick around, we need extra people for the conga line.”
- “Greetings! You may know me as (name's friend/relative), but tonight, I go by the title, NAME, Lord of the Dance."
- “I’d like to begin with a quote:” Check out this article for good wedding quotes and jokes.
- “Why do people marry?” This last one is a bold question, that needs a strong speech to answer it. The idea is to say something like ‘well, I don’t know why everyone marries, but I know why COUPLE are.’
Obviously these don’t exhaust the possibilities at all. But I’ve chosen these to give you an idea of the kinds of short and punchy approaches you can use to start your wedding speech.
But remember that the words aren’t everything – how you say something is as important as what you say. So let’s cover that now.
Tips for delivering a strong opening
Presentation is half the speech. remember the 7-second rule? If you stumble or pause or go ‘um’ and ‘ah’ in those first 7 seconds, your words won’t matter – your presentation has ruined any chance of people paying attention. I’m here to help you avoid that.
Below are some basic tips to improve your speech opening (and the whole speech, actually).
Speak up!
If you nobody can hear you, you can’t make an impact. Speak strongly and confidently. A good rule of thumb is speak louder than you think you need to. Just don’t shout!
Make eye contact
You’re speaking to real people – so look at them.
Slow down
This is a big one, people often think that if they only have 7 seconds, they need to speak quickly. The opposite is true. Don’t drone, but don’t overwhelm either. Here’s another rule of thumb: speak slightly slower than you think is normal. Trust me, it’ll be faster than you feel it is.
So there you have it – the basic fundamentals of a great start to your wedding speech. Armed with the material and examples in this article, you should be able to come up with an opening that has people sitting up and paying attention.
Oh, and if you’re still not confident, or you’re struggling for time, you can always consider getting some help!
Have any questions? Reach out and ask!
About the author: Alexander Westenberg, milestone speechwriter, is a teacher, a musician, and long-time speechwriter. Read more…
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Inside you’ll find learn:
- Why the wedding speech matters
- The 3 most common hooks for your speech
- The time-tested 'Rule of One' that can make the difference between a speech that makes an impact... and a speech that doesn't
- 4 steps to finishing your speech with the perfect wedding toast
- ...and more!