How to write a killer best man speech

Reading Time: 3 Minutes

What we’ll cover:

What’s the best man speech for?
Always prepare
3 questions to ask for a razor sharp speech
The Toast

You’re the best man! That means, obviously, you have to give the best speech. Let’s look at how.

What’s the best man speech for?

Good question. A good best man speech should do all of the following:

Give an amusing story about the groom (a joke about how difficult it was getting him organised for the big day is a classic)
Give amusing anecdotes about the groom, usually from their friendship together
Offer congratulations to the happy couple
Say why you think the couple are well-suited to each other

Pretty simple, right? On the whole, yes. But there are a few more steps to writing a great best man speech…

Always prepare

Here’s a secret for you; PREPARE!

Whether you use notes or write out your speech in full, it’s important that you prepare. Preparing gives you time to find the best way to say the feelings and thoughts you have inside you.

Even if you’re normally good at improvisation, this story should show you why it’s especially important to prepare for wedding speeches:

An expert salesman who was great at talking off the cuff decided to ‘wing’ his speech at his son’s wedding. Running high on excitement (and probably some good food and drink!), he accidentally gave a toast ‘to my son and his first wife.’ That’s hard to live down.

The message is simple: prepare your speech.

3 questions to ask for a razor sharp speech

When preparing your speech, ask yourself these three questions – and write down the answers. They will form the basis for a standout speech.

1. Who are you speaking to?

Remember that not everyone at the wedding will know the bride and groom as well as you – so always avoid ‘in jokes’. Speak to everyone, not just a small group.

2. Who should you address your speech to?

A good wedding speech will usually address three groups:

The newlyweds
Their families
Everyone else

Make sure you are clear on who you’re addressing at any point.

3. What is the one thing you want to say to each group?

Your answer to this question will normally suggest the overall structure of your speech.

For example, if you decide that the one thing you want to say is that love is a journey in which two people build a road together, a natural way to structure it might be to start with the question ‘what is love?’

From there you could suggest a few answers (with some funny stories on the way), and then lead into examples of the bride and groom building their road together, which gives you the answer to your question.

Of course, there are other ways – the point is, start with the one thing, then let that guide you.

Which reminds me: stick to your notes.

That doesn’t mean you need to read them word for word – dot points are fine. But it does mean that the notes are there to guide you, so stick to the structure you decided on.

The Toast

A good wedding speech ends with a toast.

Here are a few points to help you make a good toast:

Wish the bride and groom a joyous life, or repeat the one thing you wanted to say in your speech
Speak with energy and sincerity. If you sound timid or nervous, your toast will be weak
Make it clear that the toast is beginning. Say something like ‘Please join me in toasting…’ or ‘Please join me in raising your glass to…’
Raise your glass to the whole room before turning to the newlyweds– this will make sure everyone joins in

About the author: Alexander Westenberg, milestone speechwriter, is a teacher, a musician, and long-time speechwriter. Read more…

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Inside you’ll find learn:

Why the wedding speech matters
The 3 most common hooks for your speech
The time-tested 'Rule of One' that can make the difference between a speech that makes an impact... and a speech that doesn't
4 steps to finishing your speech with the perfect wedding toast
...and more!