What About The Speech?
How to get laughs, tears, and thunderous applause
What About The Speech?
How to get laughs, tears, and thunderous applause
+614 23 338 2176
The easy wedding vow template you need right now
Reading Time: 5 Minutes
What we’ll cover:
• Why you’re struggling
• How long should the wedding vows be?
• The wedding vow template
You’re stuck. You want to write the perfect wedding vows (or your partner’s making you – hey, no judgement!), but you’ve already spent hours thinking, and the words aren’t coming.
Maybe you know in your heart what you want to say… but you don’t know how to say it.
You’ve got the feelings – but not the words to go with them.
First off, let me tell you: you’re not alone.
Writing the perfect wedding vows can be super rewarding, but most people struggle because it feels like too much – how can you put all that’s in your heart into one set of vows?
You can’t.
But you can still convey what you want – if you know how. S read on to find out how (and I’ll give you a nice template/worksheet to get you going… but don’t skip ahead!).
Why you’re struggling
When I first started speechwriting over 7 years ago, I realised that most people carry a whole lot of assumptions and emotional baggage around their speeches – and that’s why they get stuck.
This is especially true of wedding vows and wedding speeches.
With all the family and friends… the ‘big day’… the person you want to spend your life with standing opposite… emotions run high.
Not to mention, in the lead up there’s a WHOLE lot of planning. The truth is, there’s just a lot of pressure to get it right…right?
But if you want to write the best wedding vows possible, you need to come to terms with what’s worrying you the most.
When writing wedding vows, most people’s fears fall into three main categories:
#1. Formality Overload
Because there’s a lot of formality surrounding weddings, people often get stuck with wedding vows even more than the speech. They feel there should be some ‘formal’ structure or a right way to do it.
The best vows do have a semi-formal structure, but the good news is it’s not that hard – if you follow the template planner I give you later, the structure will flow naturally.
#2. Emotional Overload
If you find yourself stressing about how you could possibly pour out all the feelings, memories, hopes, dreams, and even fears you have in your heart about the love of your life, you’re not alone. You’re just struggling with emotional overload.
#3. Time Overload
With everything else going on in your mind to prepare for the wedding, the vows can seem like just one more task. You want them to be perfect, but there really doesn’t seem to be enough time.
If this is your main fear, you’ll find yourself saying things like “It will takes me so LONG to write my vows” and “I don’t have the time to do it properly, it’ll be a rush job”.
While the template I give you below should help, if time and stress are you main concerns, you might want to consider working with a professional wedding vow writer to say what you’re feeling.
How long should the wedding vows be?
Obviously your vows need to be long enough to cover everything – but It’s better to leave people wanting a little more than a lot less. A good rule of thumb is your wedding vows should be no longer than 3 minutes – and 1-2 is better.
This is important because the longer you go on, the weaker your words become.
Why?
Because people can’t hold it all in their heads, so they only remember pieces – not what you want. But if you keep it to 3 minutes, it will have a lot more punch.
The good news is, that’s less you have to think of!
Now you know how long the vow should be, and how to structure it, let’s go through the actual template.
The wedding vow template
The following template gives you prompts to brainstorm some of the key information you will need to write the perfect wedding vow. Trust your instincts: it doesn’t matter what it is, if it occurs to you, write it down – you can always cut later.
Go with what feels natural and intuitive and don’t worry about being perfect or ‘beautiful’ or ‘catchy’. Trust your gut – trust your heart.
There’s only one rule: If you have even a moment of doubt about putting something in, put it in.
Got it? Good. Let’s get started.
Once you’ve completed the template, you’ll have all the essential information that needs to be in your final vow.
Three things you love about your partner:
The first thing you need to do is write down three things you love about your partner. It doesn’t matter what they are – follow your heart. Saying these three things make a great opening, and start you off strong.
The transformation your relationship has given you:
After you’ve told your lover three things you love about them, you can naturally shift into describing how you or your life (or both) have changed since you fell in love with them. It can be big, it can be little – it doesn’t mater. But if you love them (you do love them, don’t you?), then you’ve changed in some way – find it, and tell them.
This alone is one of the most powerful things you can say.
How your life will look together:
You’ve told them how your life has changed – now tell them what your marriage means to you. How will your life look? How will your love change? What are you plans and dreams together?
The ONE thing you want to say to your lover
If you could only say one thing to your partner, what would it be? Don’t overthink this – just write. You might surprise yourself.
The promise:
Finally, the promise. You can say ‘I promise’, or you can go the more traditional ‘I vow’ – it’s up to you. Below are a couple of normal formats:
I vow to love you, to care for you, to trust you, to confide in you, from this day until my last.
I promise to respect you and care for you as a persona and as a partner. Above all I promise to love you, and to stand with you in an unbreakable alliance, you and me against the world.
You can use those, or us them as inspiration – it’s up to you!
That should give you plenty to go on!
One last word of advice: remember that the best length for a wedding vow sits somewhere between 150-300 words.
Now it’s time to write!
About the author: Alexander Westenberg, milestone speechwriter, is a teacher, a musician, and long-time speechwriter. Read more…
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Inside you’ll find learn:
- Why the wedding speech matters
- The 3 most common hooks for your speech
- The time-tested 'Rule of One' that can make the difference between a speech that makes an impact... and a speech that doesn't
- 4 steps to finishing your speech with the perfect wedding toast
- ...and more!